From an Atlas of the Difficult World || Adrienne Rich

I know you are reading this poem
late, before leaving your office
of the one intense yellow lamp-spot and the darkening window
in the lassitude of a building faded to quiet
long after rush-hour. I know you are reading this poem
standing up in a bookstore far from the ocean
on a grey day of early spring, faint flakes driven
across the plains' enormous spaces around you.
I know you are reading this poem
in a room where too much has happened for you to bear
where the bedclothes lie in stagnant coils on the bed
and the open valise speaks of flight
but you cannot leave yet. I know you are reading this poem
as the underground train loses momentum and before running
up the stairs
toward a new kind of love
your life has never allowed.
I know you are reading this poem by the light
of the television screen where soundless images jerk and slide
while you wait for the newscast from the intifada.
I know you are reading this poem in a waiting-room
of eyes met and unmeeting, of identity with strangers.
I know you are reading this poem by fluorescent light
in the boredom and fatigue of the young who are counted out,
count themselves out, at too early an age. I know
you are reading this poem through your failing sight, the thick
lens enlarging these letters beyond all meaning yet you read on
because even the alphabet is precious.
I know you are reading this poem as you pace beside the stove
warming milk, a crying child on your shoulder, a book in your
hand
because life is short and you too are thirsty.
I know you are reading this poem which is not in your language
guessing at some words while others keep you reading
and I want to know which words they are.
I know you are reading this poem listening for something, torn
between bitterness and hope
turning back once again to the task you cannot refuse.
I know you are reading this poem because there is nothing else
left to read
there where you have landed, stripped as you are.


--


You must know that I am reading this poem with heavy eyes revealing a darker shade of life, throat itchy with warm phlegm like swamp, nose dripping and sucking as much needed air as I can, the sound of Glass America coming out of the speakers, deafening crickets outside my open window, and the fan's blade slicing the cold silent air. My puppy, lying down with his chin on the floor below my chair. My mind, still preoccuppied, of the clear, rational, and awakening chance of never being close with the one person I can truly love. Forever

Irrelevance

Mulholand Dr. (2001) by David Lynch 

Other films by David Lynch: Eraserhead (1977), The Elephant Man (1980), Blue Velvet (1986)

 

 

During the first few minutes of the film, I actually forgot who directed the movie and I was almost ready to criticize it heavily for its below average shots, transition, and editing. Then I found out it was David Lynch; I haven’t really seen any of his films yet but I’ve heard reviews and comments about him being part of the top greatest directors of our time. I was ready to suspend my initial judgment and see his work for myself. I am sad to say that I was actually disappointed.

COMMENTS

Directing:  The early crash scene seems a bit off in editing and transition. It would have made a bigger impact without music and with a more realistic shot from the point of view of Rita, the backseat passenger. Cutting to the loud and maybe drunk teens that caused the car accident was irrelevant.

There were numerous scenes that the movie could do without. Like the drunk/party teens in the car that caused the accident, the old couple in the car, or the random shots of the sleeping girl. I know they may seem necessary as they provided hints and clues to further solve the film but that’s my point. It could very well give hints and clues without forcing to further harm the film’s creativity. Also if it harms the film, maybe it would be best not to include it. Lynch seemed forced to make this film “artistic” and “mysterious”, when the lesson itself could have been delivered in a different medium of creation.

The editing is below average. While the cinematography only had a few good moments that were followed by unnecessary scenes. Most were moderate. The assassin scene was really interesting and goofy.

It may seem better if we were brought into Diane’s perspective and was just explained later on of Rita’s story. In that case, the mystery would be far heavier as the audience carries a hanging question, “Where did she come from, what happened to her?”

Plot: The plot of the film gets interesting fast even though its foundation is a bit messy. The approach and actions of the characters were odd though.

I really don’t get the push of the film and why there had to be a hallucination or dream. Yes, it’s true that we may never fully prove whether we are awake or not, but it seems like a stretch for the film to finally have that conclusion at the end. It seems like a forced plot, which any film could actually use as a safety net to provide a “twist” or a “significant” story. I’m not really a fan of the plot here.

Characters/Acting: Naomi Watts’ did great in the audition practice scene. And even better, if not best, in the real audition; she was breathtaking. It’s impressive how both were compared and contrasted with the same dialogue yet different characteristic roles. It showed acting and a differentiated personality. Taught a good deal about film and acting.

Score: The score seemed out of place most of the time. It was too pretentious as if something significant is happening, or is about to happen. It did not occur only in the dream sequence, which could be forgivable, but also in the reality part of the film.

heart beat. beat.

Moving Mountains - 8105

here and change

The old man looked as if he had noticed the sudden stop and understood it; but he did not start discussing it; he said, instead, “I don’t like the thing that’s happening to people, Miss Taggart.”

                “What?”

                “I don’t know. But I’ve watched them here for twenty years and I’ve seen the change. They used to rush through here, and it was wonderful to watch, it was the hurry of men who knew where they were going and were eager to get there. Now they’re hurrying because they are afraid. It’s not a purpose that drives them, it’s fear. They’re not going anywhere, they’re escaping. And I don’t think they know what it is that they want to escape. They don’t look at one another. They jerk when brushed against. They smile too much, but it’s an ugly kind of smiling: it’s not joy, it’s pleading. I don’t know what it is that’s happening to the world.” He shrugged. “Oh, well, who is John Galt?”

                “He’s just a meaningless phrase!”

                She was startled by the sharpness of her own voice, and she added in apology, “I don’t like that empty piece of slang. What does it mean? Where did it come from?”

                “Nobody knows,” he answered slowly.

                “Why do people keep saying it? Nobody seems able to explain just what it stands for, yet they all use it as if they knew the meaning.”

                “Why does it disturb you?” he asked.

                “I don’t like what they seem to mean when they say it.”

                “I don’t, either, Miss Taggart.”

                                 -          Atlas Shrugged, 64. Ayn Rand.

youth and beauty

Sigur Ros

Large Glass || Marcel Duchamp

Large Glass by Marcel Duchamp (1887-1968)

Creative and Experimental

The Tree of Life (2011) by Terrence Malick 

Other films by Terrence Malick: The New World (2005), Thin Red Line (1988), Days of Heaven (1978)

“The only way to be happy is to love. Unless you love, your life will pass by.”

COMMENTS

Directing: The cinematography is just very beautiful and proper. Showed beautiful images of the universe, earth, and human conventions; it is what makes the film special. But the random skips of scenes were distracting and seemingly overdone. I don’t see its necessity an ground with the film. The film, however, can touch a lot of lives with its truth. It focuses on one’s childhood and the subtle experiences one undergoes in it. Those childhood and growing up scenes make the film stand out. The plane ride scene was remarkable; brought a smile to my face. I want to experience it one day. The editing probably did not mash u to what Terrence Malick hoped to expect, or maybe it did and I just don’t like it. The film was about life, and though there were shots of space, the earth, moon, sun, it did not give the depth effect of life other than the beautiful earthly scene at the end, and the ones that were randomly positioned throughout the film.

Plot: Global and life related; the simple joys that were shown with the child was very heart-warming and nostalgic. Like learning how to walk, or playing with a younger child, or hiding under the table, or even climbing the stairs.

Characters/Acting: The acting was just superb. Jessica Chastain was captivating and amazing—the grief she expressed was just too real, Brad Pitt impressed once again, and Hunter McCracken just opened up future roles for himself; a really impressive feat.

Score: The score can be more engaging if it were ambient, in my opinion, or done by John Murphy perhaps—just to make the audience more reflective and connected rather than fixed on a limited emotion of wander and/or fascination.

The Journey || Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice—
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.

--

It is true that during self-reflection, a series of our personalities venge war against each other, we don't know who we are at the moment and who we want to be. Guilt opens it's door, shame sings it's old lullabye, fear begins to take its slow walk towards the dark corner... It is terribly hard to be conscious of the now but I keep trying to wake myself up to a new beginning. And I'm still working my way up there.

fiction

I seem to be both a theoretical philosopher and a fiction writer. But it is the last that interests me most; the first is only the means to the last; the absolutely necessary means, but only the means; the fiction story is the end. Without an understanding and statement of the right philosophical principle, I cannot create the right story; but the discovery of the proper knowledge to be used for my life purpose; and my life purpose is the creation of the kind of world (people and events) that I like—that is, that represents human perfection....This is why, I think, the idea of writing a philosophical nonfiction book bored me. In such a book, the purpose would actually be to teach others, to present my idea to them. In a book of fiction the purpose is to create, for myself, the kind of world I want and to live in it while I am creating it; then, as a secondary consequence, to let others enjoy this world, if, and to the extent that they can.
                               - Introduction; Atlas Shrugged, 6. Ayn Rand.

--

There are times when a fictional work is actually more factual. One can take it to a literary or a contingent sense, but the great and beautiful thing about fiction is how the mind can enter such new realm where one can experience something unique and interesting. When I read fiction, the ideas that raises are new and worth thinking about, the endless possibilities teaches not only creativity but also the lovely bearing of existence.

waning sun

Caspian - ...Reprise

Landscape with the Fall of Icarus || Pieter Brugel

Landscape with the Fall of Icarus by Pieter Bruegel (1525-1569)

---

Landscape With The Fall of Icarus

by William Carlos Williams


According to Brueghel
when Icarus fell
it was spring

a farmer was ploughing
his field
the whole pageantry

of the year was
awake tingling
near

the edge of the sea
concerned
with itself

sweating in the sun
that melted
the wings' wax

unsignificantly
off the coast
there was

a splash quite unnoticed
this was
Icarus drowning

you are here.

"Why does everyone want to own me?" Pippa mumbles. She's got her head in her hands. "Why do they all want to control my life—how I look, whom I see, what I do or don't do? Why can't they just let me alone?"

"Because you're beautiful," Ann answers, watching the fire lick her palm. "People always think they can own beautiful things."

-      A Great and Terribly Beauty, Libba Bray

The Accompanist || Dick Allen

I’ve always worried about you—the man or woman  

at the piano bench,  

night after night receiving only such applause  

as the singer allows: a warm hand please,  

for my accompanist.   At concerts,  

as I watch your fingers on the keys,  

and how swiftly, how excellently  

you turn sheet music pages,  

track the singer’s notes, cover the singer’s flaws,  

I worry about whole lifetimes,  

most lifetimes  

lived in the shadows of reflected fame;  

but then the singer’s voice dies  

and there are just your last piano notes,  

not resentful at all,  

carrying us to the end, into those heartfelt cheers  

that spring up in little patches from a thrilled audience  

like sudden wildflowers bobbing in a rain  

of steady clapping. And I’m on my feet, also,  

clapping and cheering for the singer, yes,  

but, I think, partially likewise for you  

half-turned toward us, balanced on your black bench,  

modest, utterly well-rehearsed,  

still playing the part you’ve made yours.

--

and there are just your last piano notes,  

not resentful at all,  

carrying us to the end, into those heartfelt cheers  

that spring up in little patches from a thrilled audience  

like sudden wildflowers bobbing in a rain  

of steady clapping.

How beautiful simplicity is. The things unnoticed have always been, for me, the most precious entities of the world. I don't create anything that's worth the effort of thought, of slight glances, nor steady concern, but I can feel the Accompanist's place in my own, and there are moments when I acknowledge my existence this way, and feel very much alive.

Opens up your mind

Minority Report (2002) by Steven Spielberg
Other films by Steven Spielberg: Schindler's List (1993), Saving Private Ryan (1998), Catch Me If You Can (2002)

COMMENTS

Directing:  Spielberg did magnificent in the movie; there were numerous scenes that a film admirer can keep on going back to. He used the merry go around as an intelligent tool of John Anderton’s random picking of the first crime’s venue. The scenes where he watches individual videos of his family were special and a great tool that introduces his character. The dialogue between John and Danny about pre-determination was short yet interesting.

The revelation in the greenhouse could have been done better, in a nicer environment maybe, or better characteristics. But it was significant nonetheless.

Man, the eye surgery scene was classic material; reminiscent of Kubrick’s Clockwork Orange. I also liked the foreshadowing of the holding breath scene—from the pool with his son and him in the bathtub.

The spider search scene was extremely interesting and a somewhat Spielberg classic.

Plot: The plot is very intelligent and creative; something you must always expect from a Philip Dick story. The first crime opens up the film terrifically. It carried a grave amount of ethical issues seeing that it was a premeditated double homicide caused by the perpetrator’s wife. You get to reflect about the concept of pre-crime whether such great discovery that protects the lives of people from murder is something ethical or not. Is surrendering our freedom worth it by decreasing the crime rate heavily?

The twist during the Leo Crow scene when John discovered who kidnapped and killed his son was extremely intense. Extending the movie from the Leo murder to Lamar Burgess’ murder was probably necessary, although the movie could’ve worked better without it; the film would’ve done well enough if it was left untouched. Because it seemed like a stretch but I do understand that the short story, where the film is adapted, must be followed correctly.

Characters/Acting: Agatha’s vision of Sean’s, John’s son, possible life could have been way better; although I liked the idea of inserting it in film. Samantha Morton could have stared blankly as she delivered it. Tom Cruise could have not overacted the crying. But, honestly, I think Tom Cruise pulled off his acting here very well.

Score: The score was simple and nicely put.

yourself

"I live my own life and nurse my own wounds. It's not the best way to live. But it's the way I am. "

-      Middlesex, Jeffrey Eugenides.

Broken Line || Wassily Kandisky

Broken Line by Wassily Kandinsky (1866-1944)

Clean. But does it say something more than that? Just like most architectural designs, the utility of beauty is enough to make the observer satisfied. I am, with this. You can sense the texture, you don't have to think too much about its color and its effects. If you do, you will be lost, until you create your own exit.

Like gliding above the sea

Ólafur Arnalds - 3055

Simple yet Powerful

The Celebration (Festen) (1998) by Thomas Vinterberg 

Other films by Thomas Vinterberg: The Biggest Heroes (1996),  Dear Wendy (2005),  Submarino (2010)

COMMENTS

Directing: The shots were really unique and appropriate for the mood of the film. It is as if you are a spectator or a guest of the whole “celebration”.  The simultaneous cycle of events of the siblings made it a very interesting and exciting transition of scenes. Kind of introduces more a bit of their personality.

Plot: You get the starting feeling that it was Michael who was troubled. Then the suspense of the film builds up as we get deeper within the family’s dark secrets. The dialogues were casual and simple. But the confession/tribute given by Christian was far shocking and unexpected. It was interesting that the shots never focused on the expressions of the listeners, it is as if the movie was mainly focused on the main family alone. It may also be a realistic response from visitors in such an event compromised by their host. The father’s own monologue to Christian was almost equally shocking, but it does not give justice to the pain and horrible memories his actions have imprinted on his eldest son and Linda, his deceased daughter.  Her letter was very heart-warming and sad as well. It was fitting that their sister, Helene, was to read it before everyone.

Characters/Acting: The whole family did very well in my opinion. But I give my honest compliments to Michael, Christian, and Helene. They were all unique and convincing characters. Their roles were a bit troubled yet unexaggerated once you see them all mixed up with one another. Their own individual stories as well were very compelling.

Score: It was just right for the score to be absent as the seriousness of the film was focused on making it very realistic. The director gets the great credit of having to compromise the audience into pulling themselves into the “celebration”.

A Fantasy || Louis Gluck

I'll tell you something: every day
people are dying. And that's just the beginning.
Every day, in funeral homes, new widows are born,
new orphans. They sit with their hands folded,
trying to decide about this new life.

Then they're in the cemetery, some of them
for the first time. They're frightened of crying,
sometimes of not crying. Someone leans over,
tells them what to do next, which might mean
saying a few words, sometimes
throwing dirt in the open grave.

And after that, everyone goes back to the house,
which is suddenly full of visitors.
The widow sits on the couch, very stately,
so people line up to approach her,
sometimes take her hand, sometimes embrace her.
She finds something to say to everybody,
thanks them, thanks them for coming.

In her heart, she wants them to go away.
She wants to be back in the cemetery,
back in the sickroom, the hospital. She knows
it isn't possible. But it's her only hope,
the wish to move backward. And just a little,
not so far as the marriage, the first kiss.

--

What beautiful yet sad ending. Gluck has started this poem with a heavy drop of sadness and has managed, very gently, to give it a dose of life, a taste of being; she makes you feel and believe that there's sadness everywhere, that life is sadness. And eventhough such meaning, or such declaration is deemed "negative" or "bad", is it really? What makes sadness, and its acceptance bad for life? What is wrong with loneliness when it is also just a human emotion, what's wrong about wanting to be sad?

Everything here is true. Yes, it is about loss, but what astonishes me about her poem is the way she makes you feel how the honesty in her words. Gluck, you make me sad. You have a hold on me that is very special; a feeling so remote yet so alive. Even if its sadness, I will take its beauty and hold it near me, even for just tonight.

Saturn Devouring his Son || Francisco Goya

Saturn Devouring his Son by Franciso Goya (1746-1828)

What else is there to know? We are all cannibals in the figurative sense, and there are just different ways of looking at it. One could see it in this image; grotesque and morbid. One could venture on leeches, or in a wholistic sense. We are all part of the same energy. By "we", I mean every single molecule that lies here in our planet. We work together, we need each other, for individual growth and as the source of fuel for our core. Definitely not what Goya wants his audience to think, but that's my thought on it.

The Dreaming Tree

It is not the pale moon that brought you here

nor the longing for a sober night. There is

a sliding melody between your footsteps,

and your lips whisper a song

full of vowels to the wind.

I can read the sorrow in your eyes, better

than the scintillating symmetry of the stars. And

if you could feel the pulse of my quivering roots

underneath the weary soles of your feet, you may know

how to use my branches for lumber

during those nights when you need warmth.

Use my leaves as shelter, when the falling snow seeks

to numb your skin. When you are angry,

you are free to peel off parts of me. And carve out

little bits of your secret thoughts on my bark

when you are lonely.

All I want, is to be

the shade that protects you

from the scorching eyes

of the world.

Date: May 13, 2011 (2.30am)

Where: room

rain dropping

3epkano - Lullaby for Isobel

Real

Fargo (1996) by Joel Cohen

Other films by Joel Cohen: The Big Lebowski (1998), No Country for Old Men (2007),  A Serious Man (2009)

COMMENTS

Directing: The directing was pretty okay. I liked how the atmosphere of the movie was a bit isolated with the weather, darkness, and snow. The dialogues were also limited in space which pulled the audience closer from their seats and be into the moment more often. There’s an aura of old independent movie theme going on in there.

Plot: The degree of the conflict is quiet yet significant. It is highly interesting and it shows the personality of the unique characters without giving it away easily. It also showed nicely how a police officer would spend her normal daily routine in a couple of minutes. I liked the tension between the characters of Macy and Buscemi, also Buscemi and Stormare’s, they gave the transition of the film a better flow.

Characters/Acting: The characters are extremely interesting but also quite normal if you think about it. Or vice versa. Buscemi and Stormare’s characters obviously did not like each other regardless of what they’ve been through. Macy’s character had to practice talking to his father-in-law about his wife’s kidnapping! Possible. I seriously might do the same. Insecurities. The actors did very well in acting, I was convinced throughout of the role they played.

Score: Nothing much really. The seriousness of the movie didn’t need it. I think it was best to have the quiet scenes to make the movie for the audience more realistic, even during the striking and unbelievable scenes.

When I Met My Muse || William Stafford

I glanced at her and took my glasses
off--they were still singing. They buzzed
like a locust on the coffee table and then
ceased. Her voice belled forth, and the
sunlight bent. I felt the ceiling arch, and
knew that nails up there took a new grip
on whatever they touched. "I am your own
way of looking at things," she said. "When
you allow me to live with you, every
glance at the world around you will be
a sort of salvation." And I took her hand.

--

I liked how the world of the speaker had changed upon watching and hearing his new found muse sing, but the starting of the quotation threw me off a bit. It seems a bit uneeded since we are told that the speaker's view of the world had completely changed even before the quoted lines, so it wasn't really necessary

I do like how the opening lines showed how the speaker would prefer to see the new muse naturally with his own eyes and not with the help of lenses. And how the ceiling, the sunlight, changed their course, as if gravity is pulling everything down with him, as his muse's voice richochets in his chest like a hum trapped inside a bell.

a page of shadows

The most unfortunate invalids on earth came in search of health: a poor woman who since childhood has been counting her heartbeats and had run out of numbers; a Portuguese man who couldn’t sleep because the noise of the stars disturbed him; a sleepwalker who got up at night to undo the things he had done while awake; and many others with less serious ailments.

- Marquez , A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings